the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
