Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize