if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
