Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
