I got chris browned last night
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
