turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Church boner. Awkwardddd
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Randomize
