Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
You are the jesus of drinking
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize