I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
