Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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