Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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