apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
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