so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
