quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize