i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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