umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
worst night to have a conscience
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Randomize
