Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
