Your dad touched me again.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
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