i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
