he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
