Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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