Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
