well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
