dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
He? As in you personified your dick?
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
