He kissed a someone with a penis
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Randomize