I hate your face
Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Randomize
