I love black thongs
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
