His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
