Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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