ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
