Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
