nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
