i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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