it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
