Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
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