You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
