i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize