I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
