five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
