This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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