i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
