You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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