hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Is it because I queefed?
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
