Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
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