The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
You made out with two different species that night
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
