Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
