So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize