he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Everclear isn't food dammit
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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