If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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