she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
