well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Randomize
