I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
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