I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Randomize
