what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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