You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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