I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
