Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
