I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
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