Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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