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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.

  Fav 2 849 2016

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• (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before

  Fav 45 880 5202

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• (805): View more from California

  I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.

  Fav 27 7427 937

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• (217): View more from Illinois

  Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people

  Fav 15 3774 1385

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• (225): View more from Louisiana

  I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?

  Fav 21 1436 7572

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• (214): View more from Texas

  The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become

  Fav 6 3180 1342

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• (914): View more from New York

  We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.

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• (479): View more from Arkansas

  DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.

  Fav 8 560 1466

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• (425): View more from Washington

  I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex

  Fav 0 964 485

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• (913): View more from Kansas

  I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis

  Fav 2 707 467

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days

  Fav 2 570 406

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  this is not a drill

  Fav 1 154 109

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• (207): View more from Maine

  How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.

  Fav 3 138 14

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• (917): View more from New York City

  She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon

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