Quick, to the slutcave!
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
