Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
people are starting to question the shark bite story
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
