I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Found the puke drawer
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
